brightlights-darklives:

My dad was complaining about buying me books yesterday and I said “well at least it’s books” and then the cashier goes “yeah it could be drugs”

(via oknope)

notmargaery:

*university voice* unfortunately… we have too much money… so we have to raise tuition so we can build a place to keep all the other money in… so sorry unavoidable

(via abcfarnily)

davidbyrne:

i love laughing about the friend zone because it’s so dumb like you know most of those dudes aren’t even IN the “friend zone” they’re in the “ugh god not this dude again” zone

(via bastille)

124:

music is such a fuckin… wide, ever expanding thing and if you’re limiting yourself to one genre, especially one represented by old/dead white dudes, then I honestly do feel bad for you

(via abcfarnily)

girl: babe come over

boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple

girl: my parents aren't home

boy: I know